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Best of the Blotter 2017

Our popular annual review of small-town life, as reflected in dispatch reports
Natalie St. John

Published on January 2, 2018 4:21PM

PACIFIC COUNTY — In addition to felonies, wrecks and medical emergencies, there were enough curmudgeonly neighbors, out-of-control animals, wayward youths, unexplainable occurrences and unhinged encounters to keep Pacific County’s stalwart emergency dispatchers and responders busy 24 hours a day, 365 days a year.

From thousands of entries, we’ve culled a selection of calls that provide a glimpse of what life was really like in Pacific County during 2017. These reports represent a raw “first draft” of local news and in some cases proved to be serious incidents. Inclusion in this annual summary isn’t intended to discourage legitimate reports to 911 or to make light of any situations in which callers were genuinely concerned.

All creatures, great and not so great

Pacific County residents made dozens of calls about abused and neglected livestock and pets, and unruly dogs and chickens. But there were also a few less-expected animal incidents in 2017.

In January, about two dozen horses got loose in Long Beach.

In March, a woman lost control of her car while “looking at a herd of elk.”

In April, an Ocean Park caller reported a “rooster pecking on the door.” There was another call about a loitering chicken “driving (the caller) crazy.”

In May, two South Bend dogs were found with porcupine quills in their faces.

In June, a Chinook resident reported a “guinea pig stuck in a stump,” and a Bay Center caller complained of someone “running the cows around the field.” In OP, someone called about an exotic bird that “squawks 24/7.”

In August, a “large wild boar” was seen walking up a hill in Raymond.

In September, a donkey walked down the middle of the road near Long Beach.

In October, a man reported being attacked by two wiener dogs, saying he sustained bites to the ankles. An Ilwaco man was carrying his cat on a walk, when a man on a bike passed by with his leashed dog. The cat reacted and scratched his owner. A loose llama terrorized Tokeland.

In November, a mother bear and her two cubs got stranded in a tree near Long Beach.

You called 911 for what?

Dispatchers know minor-sounding problems can prove to be true emergencies, so they treat all callers with dignity. But every year, a few people report situations that clearly do not sound like 911 material.

In January, a caller said people were going door-to-door in Menlo, trying to sell meat.

In February, the meat-men visited Seaview, and an Ocean Park woman said someone had entered her apartment and “cut her cat’s hair.”

In March, a caller reported ongoing prostitution in Ilwaco, saying he had a problem with “whores” who were “ruining” his life.

In July, a bible-toting man yelled at people in Ilwaco, and in Long Beach, someone allegedly sold donuts without a license.

In August, a Surfside man said his source of income had been cut off because flowers he was selling could be grown into drugs 10 years later. He wanted an officer to arrest him.

In December, the meat-men visited Bay Center and someone in Long Beach refused to turn their stereo down.

Thumps, bumps and bulges

While most people call emergency responders about physical injuries, some call to report unseemly or unsightly things that injured their sense of propriety.

In January, two people in Ilwaco allegedly refused to leave when they were caught having intercourse in someone else’s car; a caller said pornography was being broadcast on the internet “in profound ways.”

In March, a man said to be “flashing people in Long Beach.

In April, a suspicious noise emanated from a porta-potty.

In July, someone called 911 regarding a lady who was “drunk and taking all her clothes off.”

In August, a Long Beach man was seen “dropping his pants,” and in Ocean Park, a “woman in a blue robe and not much else” was spotted “messing with the flowers.”

In November, a Seaview caller reported two people who had possibly been smoking weed lurking in the bushes. The man had a “suspicious bulge” in his pocket. A man allegedly walked on a Long Beach trail in his birthday suit.

Kids do the darndest things

Each year, rascally kids drive adults to the point of calling 911. Some callers are genuinely concerned; others just can’t deal with the kids’ tomfoolery for one minute longer.

In January, two young girls allegedly tried to attract lemonade stand customers by running into traffic with orange flags.

In February, someone in Ocean Park wanted a deputy to talk to a 12-year-old who “steals all over.” In Chinook, several kids egged vehicles, cracking the windshield on the caller’s car.

In March, a caller reported three “kids holding him down.” A “couple of middle school students” allegedly ruined a transmission while taking a car for a joy-ride.

In April, a 9-year-old OP boy allegedly wrote a “fake note” so the bus would drop him off at a friend’s house. The caller said both kids were gone.

In June, a “car full of kids, all male, with bandanas over their faces” left a suitcase at the end of a beach road in Grayland.

In July, two boys in a canoe needed help getting back to the lakeshore. Several callers reported a raging party where many guests were underage, An 11-year-old Seaview boy was said to be throwing sharp objects.

In August, a Surfside homeowner said their son was having a party without permission while they were away.

In September, two teen boys towed each other behind a car with a 30-foot rope.

In October, a woman said her daughter “let in a bunch of tweakers with no arms and legs, and there is one in her bedroom with a clown outfit on, and they are leaving dummy dolls around to scare her.”

In December, a two-year-old boy locked himself inside a trailer and wouldn’t unlock it.

That’s not illegal

Some people try to use 911 as a mediation service for neighborhood hassles.

In January, two allegedly drunk people were said to be giving away beers in Long Beach.

In February, someone called about a truck with tarps strung over the back, and in Klipsan, a woman said she had a “weird” encounter with a man who asked for her help getting a baseball bat to former Pres. George Bush Sr.

In July, someone complained of “people laughing loudly” in Ocean Park.

In August, someone in Nahcotta played loud rap music with “dirty lyrics” for more than three hours during the night.

In November, an OP caller described herself as a “lady in distress”. She asked the dispatcher to send a deputy, and said he shouldn’t “diddle daddle.”

Unsolved mysteries

Did a crime take place, or were these just odd occurrences? We may never know.

In January, an employee at a Tokeland business heard someone walking up and down the hallway and a dog barking while no one was around. They left the premises. Someone in Ocean Park found a baggie of “white stuff” in their driveway.

In February, a “bio-hazard bag” was found on a road. In Long Beach, a caller reported “police officers that don’t look like police officers” in a white van. They appeared to be up to something “very shady.”

In March, someone found clothes and a baby bottle buried on a Smith Creek logging road.

In May, an Ocean Park resident heard a knock, but didn’t answer, as she was “inside enjoying her music and beer.” When she finally got up to check, the door wasn’t locked and money was missing. Near Raymond, someone heard people running through a yard yelling “Marco Polo, Marco Polo,” and then heard gunshots.

In October, a Chinook homeowner found a man sitting on their porch. He was feeding a baby who was wearing only a diaper. He then left, but came back and entered the caller’s backyard.

In November, someone in Surfside found a pistol while doing yard work.

Road outrage

Limited as the county’s infrastructure may be, it still provides plenty of opportunity for some people to prove that they probably shouldn’t have driver’s licenses.

In January, a speeding motorhome hit a trash can in Ilwaco and continued on its way.

In February, an Ocean Park man left a gas can outside while he was sleeping in his vehicle. A passenger in another vehicle got out, took his gas can and drove off. The man followed them, honking. The thieves finally stopped and dropped off his gas can.

In August, a woman allegedly tried to run over other people. The caller said another woman was crying and trying to get away from the crazed driver. In an Ilwaco parking lot, there was a Winnebago that had a pot plant in a five-gallon bucket on top of it. In Long Beach, someone drove on the Discovery Trail, and two equestrians “rode on anyway” when asked not to ride their horses on the beach boardwalk.

In September, “two guys” in Ilwaco were said to be fighting. One was on a forklift.

In October, a Long Beach resident said someone on a motorbike was doing wheelies, and possibly endangering trick-or-treaters.

Criminally stupid

Some criminals are devious masterminds. Others appear not to have mastered their minds at all.

In January, a Naselle shoplifter reportedly left behind a purse at the scene. Someone in OP broke into a car, but stole only cookies from a lunchbox.

In March, an Ocean Park burglar broke into a trailer and stole a pot plant.

In April, a hungry burglar allegedly stole food, but left behind two pairs of shoes.

In July a woman side-swiped a truck in Seaview. She stopped to pick up parts from her car, but drove away without giving her info to the truck’s owner. Another caller said they overheard at least three men discussing a plan to rob a Long Beach bank at 10:30 p.m.

In August, a burglar allegedly caused “an incident” in Ocean Park while wearing nothing but his skivvies, and two people were reportedly caught on private property while “looking for a backpack they stashed when running from cops.” In Ilwaco, a man involved in a rollover accident left the scene. Later that day, he was allegedly seen in Seaview, saying that he was trying to buy beer to take away the pain from a rollover accident. He was also reported for “screaming obscenities” inside of a business.

In September, South Bend residents called 911 to report “sewage leaking all over the place” in their rental home. They said they couldn’t just call the manager due to a no-contact order.

Adults behaving badly

Some grownups are not very grown-up.

In February, someone in Long Beach reported a man “running in the park nude” in the middle of the afternoon. An OP man said a woman “scratched his eyes out” and hit him before leaving his residence. In Long Beach, a guy with a refrigerator on a dolly claimed to have a gun during a custody dispute over a dog.

In April a hospital patient allegedly slapped a nurse and “kissed” another person on the mouth “several times.”

In July, there was a “dispute in the drive through” in Long Beach. A Bay Center 911 caller reported “a guy that ransacked a trailer” and “drank all the whiskey,” who was “going bezerk.” The caller told dispatchers the man passed out. They duct-taped him and held him in a baseball field. A Seaview man allegedly used a coat hanger to get items out of a vending machine, and in Raymond, a woman was reported to be “pouring green paint on everything.”

In August, a man and woman who were “drunk on whiskey” tried to kick in a door in Bay Center.

In September, two people in a pickup pulled to the side of the road, where they were seen “puking and screaming” at each other.

In October, a disorderly man “couldn’t keep his pants up” in Long Beach. A couple hours later, a man allegedly peed in public in Ilwaco.

In November, a guest at a Long Beach hotel was reported for cooking a turkey in a garbage can in the parking lot and refusing to put out the fire.

In December, two men were seen urinating in Black Lake.

Strange weapons

When the going gets tough, the tough get whatever they can lay their hands on.

In January, a woman said she had stepped on a homemade spike in a driveway that went through her boot and into her foot.

In March, someone “beat up” several mailboxes in Ocean Park using a property marker stick.

In April, a woman called 911 to report that someone was “running the air conditioner,” causing her to become freezing cold, and Seaview man said his neighbor “sprayed him with nerve gas.” In Long Beach, one man allegedly wielded a “battle axe” while chasing another person, while a “tall man with a beard” was seen “hitting things” with a “big stick.”

In May, a Chinook homeowner found her driveway “full of nails.” A man was said to be throwing golf balls at a woman, and during a fight at a Seaview garage sale, a man allegedly struck the caller with a “stick or baton.” In OP, a man reportedly poured gasoline on another person.

In August, an Ilwaco woman said a man hit her vehicle with a walking stick.

In October, a Raymond caller said a man “beat him with a cane and then kicked him in the ass.” A man in Ocean Park was said to be brandishing an 18-inch machete. The caller said he had paint all over his face and white makeup around his eyes and was acting strange. A woman said someone “pipe bombed” her and put some “awful smelling substance in the air.”

In November, a Seaview resident said “someone put ingredients that could blow up two city blocks” outside his back door.

In December, a man attempted to crawl through an open window in Long Beach. The homeowner shut the window on the suspect’s hand.


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