Outhouse damsel rescued from pungent predicament

This is where it all went down: A woman dropped her cell phone into the sewage chamber below this Klipsan Beach outhouse — and then climbed in after it.

KLIPSAN — When a woman dropped her cell phone in a Klipsan Beach outhouse in June, she ended up down in the dumps.

In July, the Chinook Observer caught wind of a remarkable incident that had local Washington State Parks employees talking. Like many other cell-phone owners, an unnamed woman reportedly forgot to remove her phone from her pocket while answering nature’s call. The phone fell into the State Parks-managed pit toilet on the Klipsan beach approach.

Unlike others who have found themselves “up pit creek,” so to speak, this woman was not prepared to give up on the fetid phone. According to a Parks staffer who spoke off the record, the woman took the putrid plunge, and then found herself unable to return to dry land without assistance. She allegedly had to shout for a passersby to help extricate her from her pungent predicament.

“I have spoken to a park ranger that works in Cape Disappointment State Park, and he has informed me that there was an incident similar to the one you described,” Records Manager Brian Thrasher wrote in response to an Observer request for the incident report.

According to Thrasher, rangers never formally documented the incident, because it had been resolved by the time they arrived. However, parks employees did speak briefly with the befouled beachgoer, and the arguably heroic man who came to her aid.

“Essentially what happened was a passerby heard a woman yelling for help from an outhouse and forced the door open to assist her,” Thrasher said. “The original call to the park was regarding damage to the door of the outhouse, which is why rangers responded. By the time the rangers arrived, the woman had been assisted out of the outhouse.” Damage to the door was “minor, and the door was still functional,” Thrasher said.

At the Observer’s request, Thrasher double-checked with rangers, who confirmed that the Tale of the Outhouse Ordeal was more than just hot water.

“It was reported to Parks staff that the woman was in the vault of the outhouse,” Thrasher said. “While her identity was not collected, she was advised to seek medical attention.”

The dropping-doused damsel-in-distress and her rescuer left shortly after rangers arrived.

Thrasher and the rangers did not know what became of the dung-damaged device.

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