The day I have dreaded has finally arrived. I am now a full time resident of "Geezer Land." This was made clear to me after reading the article in the Observer about the lady who is the "Twitter Queen." I was vaguely aware of what Twitter meant but having no desire to become a twit in order to tweet my twitters or twitter my tweets, whichever it is, it did not mean much to me. I show how out of touch I am with today's 'wired world.' I even thought that the process involved the use of a cell phone and I am probably the only person on the Peninsula over the age of 15 who doesn't own one. I realize that is hard to believe but true - another sure sign of geezer hood.
It has suddenly and sadly become crystal clear - all the evidence is there. I detest most politicians and don't care much for cable news because there is maybe 10 percent news and 90 percent opinion be it right or left. Trying to get real news on the Internet is difficult because the blogs are the same as cable news and the major newspapers' Web sites are less than satisfactory. My television viewing is yet another sure sign of my geezerness. I basically watch old movies and if I want to nap I turn to C-Span and watch other geezers deliver speeches to an empty chamber.
All the evidence is there and I have to face the facts I am old and cranky. I even have a problem with the use of the English language. I even have a problem with the use of the English language. My main complaint is made up words, such as "spendy" and "pricey," which I consider nothing more than baby talk. Recently on a flight returning to Seattle the gentleman next to me ordered a beer. I offered him some pretzels I had brought to go along with his beer. He politely said, "No thank you, it's all good." I sat there thinking, what exactly was "all good?" Was it is beer, his seat on the plane or his life in general? The phrase made no sense to me and are only a couple of examples of what I am saying.
I am now starting to worry about my wife as she watches reruns of "Law and Order" hoping for a different ending, or she watches the forensic files type shows paying particular attention to the episodes that feature the use of undetectable poisons. I just want to go on the record that I am aware of this just in case.