I recently learned that a Washington, D.C. man with no discernible skills is plenty worried that a recession could cause him to lose his job, as confirmed by people formerly or currently associated with him.

The comically incompetent man, who has barely clung to his job for almost three years, is right to believe that an economic downturn could result in his unemployment.

Human Resources Specialist Bud Inski claims that “When the economy is good, it’s possible for a mendacious, lazy man to hold down a job for which he’s woefully unqualified,” adding “But when the economy goes south, look out.”

Inski believes that the untalented man’s resume, which lists six bankruptcies and numerous business failures, could come under scrutiny in the event of a recession.

“People may find themselves asking, “How did he get this job in the first place?” Inski remarked.

The man’s near-total lack of education — evidenced by ideas stupid beyond belief and his inability to spell common one-syllable words or to identify the century in which the airplane was invented — could make him vulnerable to termination, insisted human resources expert Neil Down.

Inski added: ”He’s a lackadaisical man who could enjoy watching television eight hours a day — one channel in particular — perhaps from a prison cell.”

“During a recession, he’ll be able to do even more of that.”

ROBERT BRAKE

Ocean Park

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